30 before 30

I haven't blogged much lately. I've struggled with finding my voice and rather than write crap I decided to step aside to take a breather. This blog of mine has morphed over time and while it has been a steady avenue for chronicling my tiny family it hasn't always been the truest form of myself (as I'm sure most blogs are). The struggles to write honestly run deeper than trying to find the right words to type and somewhere inside me I knew that my own feelings of self worth and identity seemed to be the common triggers for my lack of motivation. Not too long ago John asked me what my hobbies were and for the life of me I couldn't think of any. And even more alarming I realized I had been using my children as the crutch for not developing my own talents--I'm too busy. Someone has to parent. I'll find a hobby when they go to school. You know what I mean.  My identity has become so attached to my children that my own sense of self-worth was lost somewhere along the way--their happiness is my happiness? And honestly, how am I to write if I don't have interests of my own? sad. I know. 

So I threw away all the ice cream turned off the Netflix and sat down late one night and decided to write down all those things that I have wanted to do but never did because of one excuse or another. After awhile the list seemed so daunting that I finally decided to capture 30 goals just for myself.

Here it is: 30 before 30.

Do something drastic to my hair.
Read at least 10 books.
Try new recipes.
Start playing the piano again.
Send more packages.
Help someone in need.
Make a dream into reality.
Plant a garden. (I kill plants).
Be published.
Reupholster a piece of furniture.
Go on a road trip.
Eat something new.
Try fly fishing
Take a photo-a-day for thirty days
Date my husband.
Learn to be more forgiving.
Ride a bike more often.
Spend more time outdoors.
Learn how to make French macarons.
Finish a daunting project.
Keep weightlifting. just keep going...
Do something spontaneous.
Play in the ocean.
More phone calls.
See a Broadway show
Learn to let go.
Go on a one-month spending cleanse.
Conquer a fear.
Do more random acts of kindness.
Visit some place new.

John turned 30.

It's hard to catch John in spontaneous moments, he's not a huge fan of me snapping pictures and he's even more reluctant when I write posts specifically about him.  A few days ago he turned 30 and while he kept remarking that it wasn't a big deal a part of me slightly wondered where our twenties went? For most of it we were together and we battled through some tough trials and some even bigger life changes and yet I still thought, did we accomplish enough? I would venture to say that he would roll his eyes and remark "yes." 

Before we got married I remember our Bishop once telling us in a pre-marital class that there are many Johns in this world and not a lot of Halseys. From what I could gather it wasn't meant to be an insult as to suggest that John encompassed one of those personality types that was calm and collected and did everything by the book while still remaining true to his beliefs. I'm sure you can imagine I was described more as ricocheting bullet, I stilll pray there are more calm and collected people in this world...

The past two years haven't been easy on us, I'm sure I've resembled more of a bear than a loving wife, yet John has still stood by silently helping through the tears and the emotions. He's good that way. He gives our relationship the space we need to grow as individuals but when times are tough he always seems to be a steady force to hold on to. The words always seem to escape me when I try to describe how much I love him. I know I don't show my love and gratitude nearly enough and I know I demand more than I give and somehow he still loves me. He's a great man and a even amazing husband and Dad and I hope the next ten years are even more exciting than the last. 

Happy Birthday Johnny B, you are loved! 

Awesome Sauce Valentine Printable

I've come to realize that procrastination is the key to success in our house. So if you're still looking for a last-minute valentine that is easy (and relatively healthy) here you go! Cheers, friends. I'm with family all weekend while John is gone on his birthday vacay--we've reached that pinnacle point in our marriage where we shrug off being together for the biggest love fest of the year. By golly, I'll just say every day is a love fest in our home :)

See you next week!

Sunny AZ

We're all sick here. I usually make it through all the bugs and germs without a snitch of cold, but this one is coming in with a fiery. Sore throats, running noses, ugly coughs, and no-eating-all-day-sleeping babies have been on the docket for the past four days. So here I sit all stuffy nosed and sore throat-like trying to type because there is much more you can do when you can't talk and it's like -36 degrees outside.  really....

And I just started to torturing myself even more by looking back on pictures of our trip and I thought, "Halsey, you completely forgot to post pictures of Arizona!" It must have been meant to be because these pictures are the only things holding me over. Did I mention that our propane tank is at 10% as well so John turned down the heat to 60 degrees (remember it's -36) and now there are three space heaters heating our entire house. I tell ya what, this day just keeps getting better. 

Anyway, back to Arizona. This was my maiden voyage to sunny AZ. Crazy, right (especially, since I'm from Utah ). It really was all I expected and more--basically the epitome of perfection in my book. I am a creature of warmth so I'm sure you can imagine how I flourished in the sunny, arid, dry heat without a stitch of humidity. I remarked time and time again to John that I could stay in Arizona, I would need the kids flown down of course... While there we stayed at The Boulders, a resort north of Phoenix. Literally (and I use that word in the literal sense) it was hands down one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen--small bungalow-style casitas with a southwestern flare, beautiful golf courses, amazing food, a gorgeous spa (I got a full body scrub and at one time I felt like I was being water boarded..a story for another time..) and a small hike to view some of the more serene desert views.

I really could go on and on gushing about the place. It's one of those places you have to see to believe. And believe me, it's worth seeing. 

Toddler books for restless days

The winters in Montana can sometimes be torturous when little babies have big ideas of being let loose outside (and it always seems to happen on the coldest days of course). And I'm sure most parents would agree that building block towers and crafting with cotton balls can only satisfy young minds for so long before someone starts going a little stir crazy. Luckily in our house when this happens we have a steady stream of books. For as long as I can remember I've always been drawn to books and I'm so happy that it's carrying through to my babes. And as their little minds continue to grow it has been exciting to see the new fascination that grows with each new book. Below, are some of their favorites right now (I'm sure it will change by next week). 

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