I've been holding back from writing as of lately. I'm not sure why. Our lives are in one of those transitional periods where there are a few open doors and not enough information to make an easy sure-footed decision. Even in the midst of this chaos I find that I am really happy right now. I've stood up for myself in a few hard ways, I've managed to let go of things that should have been lifted from my shoulders months ago, and I'm trying to appreciate the knowledge that I'm nowhere where I imagined myself to be but I'm happy for where I've landed. And the best way of finding these things out for myself was to step away from the world of technology which has an uncanny ability to suck us into a vortex of comparison. And how refreshing it's been to not wake up judging my life again someone who I only "knew" through a internet footprint.
I'm finding by living a life of less comparison I've become more appreciative for the here-and-now. Little things like playing in the backyard and visiting the farmers market seem to be readily enjoyed instead of looking for the next photo opportunity for Instagram or my blog. And surprisingly enough, by removing myself from behind the camera I seem to be capturing more of those instantaneous moments with my family too.
I, however, am a victim of holidays and the need for overindulging in the picture taking department. The morning of the Fourth Brecken asked me why we were celebrating Captain America's birthday. He never seems to miss a beat in the department of leaving me tongue tied. I'm sure it's been said over and over again but I'm enjoying this stage of Motherhood more than the last (and I'm sure I'll say it about the next one too). My babies are communicators and both of them tend to wear their feelings on their sleeves, which makes for more than their fair share of dramatic moments, but it also means that they tend to express their feelings of love, excitement, and enjoyment more readily too.
John, on the other hand, has never been known to show emotion but he remarked late into the night on the Fourth how this holiday was his favorite. There's no real commercialized market that goes on for months, it's simply a time to eat good food, be with family, and (his words) "blow things up." And I guess that would make good ol' Mother 'Merica proud. She is a she right? I think she is. She must be.
I hope y'all had an amazing holiday. I'm back. My head is a bit cloudy these days with house building and all, and exciting things are happening!