struggles

posted on: Thursday, February 16, 2012

I have been battling with the issue of what is "too much" on my blog.

Is it appropriate to give all the details of my pregnancy?
Is it acceptable to discuss certain topics of my marriage that some of you have asked about?
It is obnoxious to rant about a horrible day?
Is it okay to vent about the the naughty things my child does that makes me question my ability to be a mother?
Is it inconsiderate to rave about something amazing that is happening in my life?
Is it kosher to explain the worries I have with the crossroads we are at in our life right now? 

These are just a few of the questions that I have been trying to sort out and answer. 

It seems that everytime I begin to write my feelings the words often get jumbled and lost in an abyss of rambling thoughts.

I've often found myself standing in the shower reciting an entire post in my head that I deem as brilliant or totally eye-opening (don't we all?), but then when I jump out to jot them down the words they often become scrambled and forced.

I chalk it up to the fact that for years I have written thousands of pages (that is no understatement) without feeling and emotion. Most of my writings have often been scientific-based or grounded in facts so to revert to a new writing style of letting myself be open and more subjective has not been easy.


Even in Spunky Junky's meager beginnings I tried to remain straight forward, posting only the most crucial information, while leaving out any emotion of my day-to-day life.

I realize now that sometimes that best writings (or posts) are those that come from the heart; not sugar-coated, or meant to portray a perfect person, but rather posts that show the insecurities and frailties of each of us


The blogs that mean the most to me are the one that open themselves up to the idea of imperfection. I can relate to their pain, their struggles, their need for reassurance, their desire to be better--it's as if their words are speaking directly to me.

So I've tried to be more honest with myself. I've come to learn through the small amount of wisdom I can call my own that my struggles and trials have only helped to make me stronger. 

I can look back and say that I am now a stronger
daughter
sister
mother
wife
and friend

because I have opened myself up to the idea of imperfection and its beauty.

I also realize that the only thing holding me back from embracing the words I want to write or the goals that I want to achieve is myself.


So let us struggle together to find our way in this crazy place called life because the act of quitting is never an option--it's only an easy way out.


And if I haven't told you lately--I appreciate you.

Your emails, your comments, your friendship--you've helped to lighten my burdens and while I may not know you all personally and may not know your struggles I want you to understand that I know your plight and that you will never be in this alone.  

15 comments:

  1. AMEN!!! I agree, the best blogs are the ones that are REAL. The ones that make us feel like we are totally normal in our insanity of daily life. :) It's hard to read blogs from people who don't show who they really are, but try to put on the "PERFECT" show. I love your blog, it's the perfect balance of everything! You leave us laughing, crying, inspired, and happy! Keep it coming! :)

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  2. I LOVE your blog, because of this post! You are so real- and that's what it is all about!! Thank you so much for sharing! I can't agree more with Natalie--keep it coming! -Jen

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  3. I love your blog and all your adventures. I struggle with the same thing with writing my blog. I try to be as honest as possible, but I don't want to whine or "burdon" my readers with my problems. But, I LOVE it when other bloggers share their emotions. This post really helps me to get out of my shell and share more about me! Thanks Halsey!

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  4. Halz. I think that you're blog is a wonderful depiction of your life and you put your words into something that anyone can relate to. I may not talk to you that often, but I can find myself catching up on your life by reading your blog. I think you are just an awesome woman who can do anything she puts her mind to and I am glad that I can call you my friend! <3 Moe

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  5. This is perfect :) I would love to blog more about personal stuff, but I've gotten in "trouble" with some of the family because they say I talk too much and people don't need to know about our personal lives. So to keep the family peace, I usually have to stick to surface stuff. Either way you decide to go, I'm here to support and listen :)

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  6. It's a blogger's battle. Recognizing that it's okay to change and not always fit that initial "blog style" is a good thing. I always enjoy peeking at your blog... real and PRETTY!

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  7. I believe firmly in real blogs. And I believe firmly in having the blog you want to have. I don't do it for the number of followers, I do it because I enjoy it and if it ever becomes unenjoyable then I am doing something terribly wrong. Keep up the good work!

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  8. As a first-time-pregnant-lady, I would love to hear your pregnancy details. Reading about other people always makes me feel more prepared.

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  9. Halsey, I adore your blog. I adore your stories about Punk they are so funny and cute. Don't change a thing!

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  10. A friend of mine sent me a link to this post because it reminded her of a post I wrote back in December (http://lifelovelibrarianship.com/2011/12/dont-stop/).

    I have long since been struggling with the same issues of what to share and if it is over sharing. I have gotten in trouble at work and my family hasn't always been the most supportive.

    I am currently having to take a step back from my blog because of some personal issues, and it's killing me. Because I want to share and hear other people's experiences. That's the best part of blogging in my opinion. But in order to protect myself and prevent any mistakes from happening, I have to censor myself.

    I am in a bad situation, but that doesn't mean you or anyone else should stop writing about what you want to write about. Blog about what you want; people will either love you or hate you, but that's their problem, not yours. :)

    Good luck and keep writing! It seems as if you have lots of supportive readers!

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  11. You have got to read The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown, I just finished it and from reading your post it will speak to you now!! I love your blog and nothing is too honest if it is truth. If a reader doesn't like it they can choose not to read. You are doing a great job!!

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